Do Women Know Their Place?
Posted: October 9, 2009, 12:08 PM by Leslie Grossman
Today's headlines reminded me AGAIN that things are far from equal in the power suites of America. What's worse is so many men are not even aware of the language they use. It just comes naturally to them. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was told by the National Republican Congressional Committee that she needed to be put "in her place"for her views on Afghanistan. I'm sorry to say I remember being told that on various occasions when I was growing up. I was told that I needed to know "my place" in speaking out in a man's world. Leadership positions in the real world were just not for women, so I was told. "Know your place" as a woman, and you will always be happy. At that time "your place" was being a homemaker, teacher nurse, or secretary (not Secretary of State). Fortunately, for me, my Father didn't agree and urged me on to be whatever I wanted to be. I thought those days were gone, but not apparently in the House of Representatives. On a more athletic note, President Obama failed to invite any women to play basketball on the White House court yesterday. This could just be the President's assumption that Washington women power players don't play basketball, or his desire to bond with the boys. However, it continues to be a reminder, that there are times that the guys just don't want us around. I'm okay with that, as long as they realize that there are times we don't want to be with them either. And girls, here's yet another reason, why we need to learn to work and play together nicely -supporting each other to crawl up the ladder and succeed. If we're not inclusive of each other, then we're just not going to ever be equal in the power suites of America.
Reader Comments
Posted: January 5, 2010, 12:25 AM by Michele Farmer
I agree that men say things that they probably (hopefully) aren't aware they are even saying. At my work, it was very prevalent and accepted (by women too) when men talked behind other men's backs by saying, "He needs to get a pair of balls." And this was even said by some guys who I thought were more forward thinking. I found this very discriminating. Does this mean be strong a person needed a set of balls and be a guy? I would respond by saying, "No, they need a set of ovaries." This shocked some guys trremendously and I could almost laugh at their response. Some other women started saying it too. The nice thing is that I have not heard a guy say that phrase in over 2 years now. Maybe the word got out.
Posted: November 20, 2009, 08:28 PM by Liane Sebastian
Working in a profession that seems an even playing field between men and women (graphic design and publishing), I have never felt any pressure to "know my place"--or else I've ignored it. However, Lya's comment about women being unsupportive to women bears greater investigation. It is hard to know which women to invest time and energyinto helping and which are going to let you down by moving out of town, going back to school, changing professions, or quitting for family reasons. These kinds of career-disruptions are more prevalent with women. One reason those at the top have reluctance to extend too much help is that reputations are fragile and who you recommend reflects upon you. And there aremore reasons for the phenomena of the Queen Bee! Just scratching the surface! --Liane Sebastian, www.wofw.com.
Posted: October 10, 2009, 08:20 AM by Lya Sorano
Nearly 20 years ago, I founded “Atlanta Women in Business” with “achieving equality for women in the workplace” as its goal. During these years, I have met many men who don’t “get it” and still think there is that certain “place” women need to be reminded of from time to time where they belong. That has always been a given, but enlightenment has happened in the past few decades in large segments of the male business arena. What I did not understand then and continues to perplex me now is how unsupportive women are of each other. It has been explained to me that this is all part of “the scarcity syndrome”, which has indoctrinated women in the belief that there are only so many slots at the top available for them and they would rather crawl all over each other to get one of them than help each other along, so that those who do reach the top will remember the women who have given them a hand and pull them up to higher positions as well. Sadly, there is scarce evidence that those women who do reach the top even remember the sisters who gave them a boost to get there.
